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[+]DDivision
of Science
Bachelor of Mental Persuasion (BMP)
At one point or another, we all want to be psychologists. It's like a legalized form of mind control. We get all these keys to other people's mental doors and windows. Just think of how much fun parties and wedding receptions could be. However, the sad reality is that Psychology is really, as we like to put it, a form of hit or miss thinking. But we have gathered tons of useful information about lab rats.
PSR101RGetting the Attention you Deserve
PSR111RHistory of Victimology
PSR121RProve It
PSR133RContradiction Living
PSR201RThe Melancholy Girl
PSR211RDistancing Yourself
PSR222RRubber Lovers
PSR225RBuy at Your Own Risk
PSR233RAny Day Can be a Fun Day
PSR255RFreeing the Inner Child
PSR301RGet Rich Schemes
PSR311RThe People Inside Us
PSR317RJerry & the Spook House
PSR320RLiving on Automatic
PSR333RGrowing Old Gracelessly
PSR344RThe Value of Things
PSR355RAbject Terror
PSR366RBusy Forever
PSR401RMrs. Girl Scout Cookie
PSR411RGoodbye to Negativity
PSR431RPersonality Disorders
PSR439RSnap Judgements
PSR441REscalating Anxiety
PSR444RBoys Who Kill Things
PSR451RCat Scam
PSR454RThe Backlash
PSR456RPsych PracticumT[Prac. defined]
PSR471RAnger in the Air
S
PS 121 PROVE IT
Did you ever wish somebody would just shut up? Like when you're
stuck at work and have to do a shift with Caroline, and she just
keeps talking about her healing circle and who came for dinner
yesterday and what she cooked and who fought with who because
someone's always fighting in her damn healing circle, which doesn't
sound very healing. And somehow she's suddenly talking about Connecticut
and how many sweaters she had to buy to keep warm, and you're
wondering why since she weighs so much she broke the countertop
just sitting on it. Using proven techniques, learn to silence
people like Caroline, and others who you suspect are completely
inventing their outrageous stories, by simply insisting they prove
every word they say.
S
PS 333 GROWING OLD GRACELESSLY
Are you the kind of person who bitterly remembers every insult,
betrayal and failure ever inflicted on you? Designed for the mature
citizen, this course will teach you how to channel your seething
resentment into petty acts of managed torment you inflict on random
members of the society that took you for granted all those years.
We'll cover basic techniques for taking-up more space in the grocery
store aisle and more time in the checkout line. Learn to hate
all weather, and how to hear even the quietest neighbor's stereo
and pester the other tenants into evicting them. Note: Fifty-percent
textbook discount for AARP members.
S
PS 355 ABJECT TERROR
This course uses fear therapy to help you overcome personal psychological
barriers. Students will get to hear a creepy legend about a cellar
where a bunch of good looking teenagers get slaughtered. Students
will be afraid - very afraid - when a special guest dentist presents
a slide show about the side effects of eating too much candy.
Also, we'll lock you in a very small room full of rats, snakes,
tarantulas, and hornets so you can finally discover if any of
them scare you. For the first time ever, this class brings together
on one stage all of the most popular forms of therapy, including
family, group, self-help, aversion, and Gestalt. Just entering
therapy can make you feel better because you're working toward
getting well. Finally, to make the fear presentations more enjoyable,
we've added a familiar special touch - gratuitous nudity.
S
PS 456
PSYCH PRACTICUM
In the Psych Practicum, students will be required to solve the
following modern day moral dilemma: Mary was a crack addict who
became a prostitute to support her habit. Eventually, she had
a crack baby. One night, she left the baby in the care of two
prisoners. Well soon enough, they had to separately meet with
the DA about a plea bargain and were forced to leave the baby
with the dog. Unfortunately, the dog heard the doorbell and left
to go eat. When no one answered the door, Mr. Heinz, a psychotic
baby-killer who had been abused as a child, let himself in. He
took the baby to his vampire bride, who needed fresh blood from
a newborn manchild in order to live another 1000 years. By the
end of the semester, students will have to explain who is to blame
for the baby's death and why. Students who blame the dog must
clearly explain their basis for judging right from wrong. Students
who successfully blame the baby are eligible to audit the clandestine Philosophy Practicum, if they can find it.
Students who believe the police would never have let this happen
in a rich neighborhood must also match their explanation to one
of Kohlberg's six stages of Moral Reasoning (1969; Kohlberg & Hersh, 1977).
Concept check: Students receive extra credit for guessing the wrong answer for
the right reason.
Note: For a helpful starting point in your discussion about who is responsible for Mary's baby's death, please see Suspect List.