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Letter from the President
Dear Prospective Student:
Let me take a moment of my valuable time to welcome you to the University of Psychogenic Fugue: A Course Catalog for Students of Life.
Everyone knows there's never been a trendier time to attend college. You'll feel better and look great while your parental units plunge into poverty. However, I know you've heard the rumors on the horizon - America's "system" of education is falling apart. But rest assured, the University of Psychogenic Fugue is here to play with the pieces.
Chances are, even if you could afford a traditional or accredited University, you would graduate only to end up working a crappy job which has nothing to do with your degree. Or even worse, a crappy job that is related to your degree. But now, you don't have to throw away four or more years of your life to find educational enlightenment. The University of Psychogenic Fugue knows what you really want - wealth, power, popularity, and thinness - and with the right know-how, you can have as much of it as your greedy little fingers can hold, and for thousands less than attending "one of those" colleges. Just think of the savings!
Although our University has been discredited by so-called reputable colleges (through no fault of our own), we continue to offer students sparkling clean restrooms, an unrivaled curriculum, unique campus clubs, expensive hi-tech labs, along with a variety of prestigious scholarships and awards. And what campus would be complete without millions of confusing regulations, hundreds of bratty students, and a couple of outstanding professors who are not only verbose, but rather sexy too.
Remember, the University of Psychogenic Fugue is conveniently located right down the street from you. So what are you waiting for? Grab a frosty drink and those Greek letters you've been saving and take some time to peruse our extensive course selection.
I personally invite you (and your selected loved ones) to enrich your life, ensure your future, and recharge your soul at the University of Psychogenic Fugue.
BBBon chance
BBUniversity President
P.S. Although certain restrictions apply, we even offer a complete refund to dissatisfied students. Just simply return your knowledge to the Admissions Office and they will issue you a refund check that even includes miscellaneous expenses like beer, smokes, illegal drugs, and fashionable clothing! Be patient though, since the Admissions Office isn't known for being efficient, polite, or well-organized.
