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[+]DDivision:
Humanities
Degree: Bachelorette of Luv (BL)
Although true love has been replaced by multiple marriages and casual lovers, the idea of love is still something pretty precious. However, due to inflation and marketing, love is no longer priceless. It may even cost up to $3.99 per minute. Even so, since you haven't found love at those annoying singles bars with music so loud your brain actually throbs, you might as well settle for studying it. Rest assured, every member of the Love Department faculty has a cute little heart-shaped stamp to use when grading your papers.
LVR101RMatchmatrix I
LVR102RMatchmatrix II
LVR111RVirtual Friend Techniques
LVR121RAvoiding Random Visitors
LVR122RAvoiding Loved Ones
LVR214RValentine's Day Sabotage
LVR244RHow to Raise a Chia Pet
LVR269RSexual Fantasy World
LVR296RLove Each Other
LVR301RAlternative Wedding
LVR311REmergency First Date Kit
LVR321RWhat the Hell is Love Anyway
LVR401RCycling
LVR411RPower Couple for the 90s
LVR420RMass Wedding
LVR428RFriend or Foe
LVR456RPractically LoveT[Prac. defined]
LVR477RToo Much Love
LVR501RThe Baby Factor
LVR555RFriend Finding
LVR564RGrandma Preservation
LVR566RHow to Live in Sin
LVR586RWaiting for the Fall
LVR601RVirtual Husband
LVR614RPansexuality
LVR633RThe Big Mistake
S
LV 214 VALENTINE'S DAY SABOTAGE
Everyone dreads the day of love. It's that one special day when
you really resent being single. This course will train you to
ruin other people's Valentine's Day. Learn how to accidentally
spill strawberry sauce on a young couple in love at any restaurant.
Learn how to pop those annoying heart-shaped balloons. It's easy.
Plus, the secret behind cutting flowers from their stems. We'll
even teach you how to misdirect singing telegrams and induce chocolate
heart attacks. Upon completion of this course you may still feel
lonely, but you'll fall in with love with February 14th. Prerequisite: GL
130 The Bad Date.
S
LV 311 EMERGENCY FIRST DATE
KIT
Ever meet that special someone at an impromptu visit to your favorite
local bar, but then realized you're not prepared to make a stunning
first impression? This course will teach you how to assemble an
emergency first date kit that fits in the glove compartment of
any car. Learn which necessities like cheap champagne, candles,
plastic flowers, condoms, breath mints, plastic cups, and "The
New York Times" crossword puzzle will work wonders on every
apple of your eye. Never be caught unprepared again. We'll even
teach you how to assemble a pocket-sized version for those partners
you really only want to have sex with.
S
LV 601 VIRTUAL HUSBAND
Are you tired of trying to get your husband out of his reclining
chair to fix the leaky roof or cut the grass? For that matter,
are you just plain tired of him in general? This course will help
you design and build a robotic husband who will not only do all
the housework, but who can satisfy your wildest sexual needs too.
The best part is, you get to decide how much, when, where and
what size. Don't settle for the man you took for better or for
worse - who knew worse could be this bad? Learn how to send your
husband home to mother without having to hear all his lame excuses.
Extra material fee for positronic brain, engineering schematic,
and synthetic skin. Remember, a virtual husband will never complain
or be embarrassed when you ask him to pick up a box of tampons.
Note: Course perfect for gay men too.
S
LV 614 PANSEXUALITY
Course designed to help students understand what the hell's happening
to modern sexuality. It use to be very simple: just a man and
his woman and his secret lovers, but not anymore. Now, it's men
with men and women with women and men-who-want-to-be-women with
women-who-want-to-be-thin. Add your transgenders, cross dressers,
sadomasochists and bondage boys, throw in a vampyre or two, and
you've got yourself one very confused population. The instructor,
a certified massage therapist, will personally show you all the
dead ends in this complicated sexual maze which began with the
sexual revolution. Course textbook contains hundreds of stunning
full-color photos of people doing the wildest, hottest things
you've ever seen! Remember, Pansexuality means everything's okay.
Note: Students should know that no one can tell you what's right
for you except you.