|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[+]DDivision
of Science
Bachelor of Science & Technology (BST)
Thanks to recent advances in technology, Generally Accepted Science isn't about sitting around doing math all day. Instead, it's about using expensive computers to genetically alter cows and people and corn on the cob while sincerely hoping we don't screw everything up. Science is kind of like a secret magic power. And the best part is, we can teach you to harvest that power under the guidance of some of the most advanced android professors ever designed. And don't worry, we patched their so-called glitches.
GSR101RBasic Cloning
GSR111RZoology
GSR121RBackyard Botany
GSR131RCadaver Farming
GSR201RStatistically True
GSR211RWater Resources Management
GSR221RAstronomy for the New Millennium
GSR231RChemistry
GSR301RAromatherapy
GSR311RTerra-Forming
GSR321RPolitics of Politics
GSR401RThe Mis-Shaped Woman
GSR407RLow Impact Farming
GSR411RAnti-Computer Movement
GSR418RDimestore Darwinism
GSR421RHousehold Biology
GSR431RScience > Fact
GSR441RThe Probability of Truth
GSR451RSpecies Computation
GSR454RMathematical Perfection
GSR456RScience PracticumT]Prac. defined]
GSR461RTechnological Dead Ends
GS 121 BACKYARD BOTANY
Learn to identify over 1,000 commonly-occurring species of plants
and the most effective ways to eradicate each and every one. Make
room for that new driveway or barbeque area so you can finally
enjoy your yard. This course will cover many popular poisons,
as well as slash and burn methods. Also discussed: the pros and
cons of covering entire lawn with asphalt.
S
GS 221 ASTROMONY FOR
GS 221 THE NEW MILLENNIUM
Chart the movement of planets, comets, and constellations and
calculate their devastating effects on Earth using a simple child's
backyard telescope. Learn how asteroid impacts and planetary alignments
have wreaked havoc with everyone from modern-day cultists to the
majestic dinosaurs of yesteryear. Predict earthquakes, plagues,
even the next Ice Age just by gazing intently at the night-time
sky. Join the cutting edge of doomsday research before it's too
late! Additional fee for field trip to Hubble Telescope. Note:Course meets in the basement of Terrafield
Planetarium.
S
GS 456
SCIENCE PRACTICUM
In the Science Practicum, brainy students must devote one semester
of their academic life to making some sort of machine. The machine
must do something like spin around or hop or maybe fly a few feet
in the air for a few seconds and then crash. Your machine must
look extremely futuristic, with lots of shiny metal parts and
blinking lights. The machine should emit some sort of beep beep
or whirla-whirla-whirla sound. Since the Department already has
enough potentially dangerous gadgets lying around, students are
required to pick up their invention during finals week.