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[+]DDivision
of Humanities
Degree: Bachelor of Phonics (BP)
Since English has been chosen as the
dominant global language, being an English major isn't something
to laugh about anymore. Everywhere people go these days, words
are right there telling them what to do, where to go, how to be,
and what to buy. New people are desperately needed to write all
those words. Remember, English isn't just about studying boring
old plays and spelling anymore. Special bonus: No haiku assignments.
ENR101RWriting Di's Afterlife-ography
ENR111RRemedial Punctuation
ENR131RWriting the Personal Ad
ENR141RWriting the Fortune Cookie
ENR201RTabloids I - 1456 to 1976
ENR202RTabloids II - Elvis to Diana
ENR225RJournalism Today
ENR266RVanity Vanity So Fair
ENR272RSpeaking of Symbols
ENR301REnglish as Language
ENR311RThe Diction Dairy
ENR351RLiterature I
ENR352RLiterature II
ENR401RFree It's Not
ENR451RCensorship
ENR453REbonics Plague
ENR456RCreative Writing PracticumT[Prac. defined]
ENR457RWriting Your Own HistoryT[Prac. defined]
ENR459RGertrude Stein Gertrude Stein
ENR461RReading Technology
ENR466RTwisted Language
ENR471REmpty Phrases
ENR519RDead White Men With Pens
ENR522RInnocent Forever
ENR533RPoetry Rejection
ENR537RChildren's Literature
ENR555RPre-Constructive Post-Modern Blabble
EN 201 TABLOIDS I - 1456 to
1976
Mass produced and widely distributed, filled with celebrity gossip
and unlikely tales of monsters and miracles presented in a nonfiction
format, the Gutenberg Bible is considered to be the forefather
of the modern tabloid. We'll cover 500 years of publicized tales
of debauchery, avarice, greed, lust, mysterious madonnas, fruit
that bleeds, UFO abductions, lucky spots, swamp yetis, telepathic
coffins, celebrity horoscopes, clairvoyant computers, talking
cars, prophetic card games, and telephones to Hell, and discuss
their impact on the social subconscious. Also, learn why "The
Weekly World News" is widely considered "The New York
Times" of tabloids.
EN 452 EBONICS PLAGUE
Course gets jiggy with Ebonics. If homeboyz be down with class,
they can stay a liddle mo for the PO-leece come with da Am-boo-lance.
If girlfriendz be down with the homeboyz they say, "I had
got a love jones for him" then be axed to keep me their nephews.
Everyone in da house who passes was trying to be grown. Class
starts for eleven and be taught by the Professor Formerly Known
as Mustafa.
EN 537 CHILDREN'S LITERATURE
Class usually made up of one gay man and 28 girls who really want
to be kindergarten teachers. Students will use gender to deconstruct
Dick & Jane and discuss the intertextual influence of Green
Eggs and Ham. Final paper must be written in fable form and examine
the theme "Pokey Little Puppy is from Mars, That Darn Cat
is from Venus." Since the instructor is a bitter, ugly old
woman who lives in a poisoned gingerbread house deep in the haunted
forest, students will no longer read anything involving wicked
queens, witches, or assorted hags.